suppose to be studyin now..but just dont feel like it...have a test on visual basics tommorrow.. somethimes i feel like giving up..why do i have to work so hard..i dont get to do what i like, to explore my potential, to see what i'm capable off, to shine for one, to make my parents proud...
i see so many people out there, the ones i sit and study togather in class, the ones i get to know from the net, they have so much of happy memories to share, so much joy, all i have is bitterness, a cynical view of life. jealousy of their happiness, something that i never can get, something i never got..
feel like ending up everything, but my stubborness to quit stops me from ending it..im a fighter, but the promise of light at the end of the tunnel is so faint, that i loose focus easily most of the time.. i dont even know how to fake fakeness anymore.. tears have dried up.... and yet i still here, giving in to others, let them pursue their dreams and sacrificing for them. when it wil be my turn?
why me was the question i use ask alot, but now a days i console myself, promising it will be better tommorrow... only to get diced, sliced, chopped again..its kinda like a routine now..a routine that i will never get immune of..almost...
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perple streaks @_@