feeling the void

i for one, is a firm believer of true love. one does deserve some to grow old with no matter how much of a nuisance they can be. since my last morbid affair went down the drain, i haven't had the itch to see anyone else on a different manner, other then being friends. that was , until recently. this was largely due to the fact that, true to the words that old habits are hard to die, so does old flames. till i met nemicanu (of course its a nick name, hello, it weird and hard to pronounce...) and what ever sweet and sour memories i had with the-one-whoose-name-shall-never-be-mentioned-ever-again,  went down the drain either.

meeting you was by chance, but falling for you, thats fate... missing you more the before..





enjoy. i know i am.

My birthday wish.

It's not expensive. It's not elaborate. It's not shiny nor it's high technology. But this is the gift that touched my heart. It's a simple card, but with love, with care, with longing.. Thank you sir boi.. Love you more than life... My birthday wish? May our bond be eternal..

resonant of a soul : in E major

curiosity kills the cat. 

uncertainty kills the goal

ignorance kills the intellect

silence kills the soul.

its been more then 2 weeks since you kept away from me. i did something terrible and i don't even know what i did. wish you would tell me. hmmm, if this is the price i need to pay for hurting you, i will. but know one thing, you always will be my soul mate. my guide. my philosopher. my eternal bond. and nothing would keep me away from you.

on a different note, i have started my final year  project cum thesis, albeit in a struggling mode. i was sick for quite some time, drained my self out.. sigh, feeling much better now, have to quicken the momentum to keep up the pace. suppose to meet my supervisor last week, but could not make it. will try to meet him this week.

right now, the only thing that is keeping me occupied, is my thesis work and volunteering. the ngo i'm involved with is kind enough to send me for various trainings for me to gain knowledge and exposure in order to serve accordingly and efficiently. i have a camp this coming weekend at my former school where i'll be a facilitator. 

*mymindissohaywiredrightnow*

the estranged heart is longing for the familiar voice that healed the wounds and cradled the worries. 

from me to you

i'm bruised. battered.
but i guess you feel the same.
i drained my self thinking  what i did.
wish u would tell me, as i don't know.
i'm that dumb.
sorry. thats what i can offer.
but if you want anything else, name it.
just don't ignore or hate me.
love you more then life.
before, now and always
miss you sir.
miss you a lot.




T_T

a trial

i always wanted to write. a story. a fantasy. a dream. it has always been. but lately been feeling a little courageous, and so here is a little excerpt from one of d many imaginations i cook up in my mind.
presenting, i am dancing. the two different struggles faced by two different persona's, on one common ground, dance.

" he looks down at his feet. wearing them has always been his dream. he peeks through the curtains, as a wave of panic rushes, cruises through his body. he looks at his painted fingers, and increases the volume of his mp3 player, as valli kanavan pirai screams in his subconscious mind. he drifts back to the day he saw his first love on the screen at home. the movement, the beat, the expression captivated his innocence so much, he dropped down the lego toy and went to his mother and father and said, mum, i wanna dance. dad looked down at his son, horrifed, that he wanted to dance and mum in bewilderment, on what he was talking. suddenly he was jerked back to reality as his hand were pulled, "you are next, get prepared" he said " huns, been doin that all my life" and smiled. this is it, he thought. im ready he took off the player, , hands at his side, and strode out, at que music. in his mind and heart shouting estatically, i am dancing."

"she sighs as another jump played its impact on her sore feet.'concentrate gal! you have to be in top shape!!' her mum's less then encouraging banter, be-seated, with her jathi stick poised to strike again. the aunt on the veenai gave her a sharp but sympathetic look. ' maybe she needs a break, she has been dancing non stop for quite some time you know" she said giving a slight hope. ' nonsense, she is not tired, she is just not concentrating. if you are tired , you can take rest...' the aunt gave another look and her eyes spoke her emotions. sympathy flowed through it. 'its ok aunt, im not tired.... i can dance, no worries.. take a break if you are felling tired..' the aunt threw a faint smile, and nods.. the shakes her head. she smiles as she adjusts her sash into place, and gets into aramandi again. she nods. her mum begins, ' from the start sadhana!, no cutting in between when you stop... ' and she begins.. asai mugham maranthu poche.. ' she bends, slightly and twist her hips getting into position and begin her formation of mudras deftly. if only her mums voice was not loud, she would her heard her mind and heart groaning, i am dancing.."

watcha think?