yikes, its been ages since i last scribbled something in here^^. but then again, since my last emo outburst, d week has been great. went for my reunion of my form 5 class. its been 3 years since i last saw them. we had a blast! almost 7 hours at mc'd! went on fries and refilled fizzies marathon that day, enough calories and sugar to last till middle of next year! lolz!!! the nutty gang cant believe it was me, cause i used to be well "healthy" nad now i am healthy minus the inverted coma, guess they were shocked that l lost so much weight. them we roamed aimlessly around the mall cmawhoring in every possible place, absorbing the atmosphere and basking in the spirit of christmas, with all the gay decorations and sounds of carols in the air we ruled, just like in the good old days.... XD
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
pretencious. yup. thats me. pretending. faking it. all of it. i can't be myself. i tried too. then people started to mock me. to kill me. then i decided. to be phony. people flocked. like pigeons. around me. found some true friends in the flock. friends who cought me red handed. for not being myself. with them i was me again. i was reborn. but now, they are no more with me. they went where life took them. i'm all alone now. with no one to cry to. to share with. to be friends. is it a crime to be different from the others? is it a must to follow the leash of the society? whats wrong in not stereotyping? i'm not a clone. nor i will be. i hate it to the guts. i can't keep with this any longer. but i have to. life doesn't give us much choice.i'm hurt. but i can't cry. tears are flodding my eyes. but i just close my eyes .so it wont flow down. once i was happy. met someone that i thought was my match in every aspect. we were together. life was a bliss. but then, things started to change. we seperated. now the past is back. explaination. did not get it when iasked for it. but now getting it without asking. don't want to hope. but i'm human too. my heart can't differentiate between true and false. scared will be hurt again. and hurt someone who gave me support all this while when i was crying. why me? don't ideserve to be happy? i'm no angel. but i'm no whore either. just a persons who got hurt multiple times by people i trusted. trust. thats a strong word. easy to break, hard to get. sigh..
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
yahoo!!!! after 2 months of sleepless nights, and a daily dose of panadol activ, my first sem has finally came 2 an end! like gosh, sun, you did it! with big bad bush gatting the sandal salute and me bumping into certain someone ^^, yesterday and today was a beffiting farewell to me sem. went to the PC fair in klcc, and bought sum stuff. d usualls, pendrives, which are sold oh so cheaply, and hooray, finally got ma self a webcam, after a lot of hesitation. its' 5 megapixels, and it is like so cute, looks like wall-e jutting out from ma pc! and this can only meaning one thing, camwhoring, lolz!! hehehehe, maybe i should start like a series of photos or someting, muahahahahahaha.
at the fair, i bumped into somone which i thought will nebver ever see again in my life. actually, i saw him first. was waiting for my uncle as we got seperated due to lots of shoving and pushing, and suddenly my heart started to beat very fast. i dont know why, till i glimpsed a familar shadow. could it be i thought? and i told my sister to wait and trailed after that person, and yes it is! went near and statr to like ummm looking at somwhere else, hoping my presence will be noticed, but after a few minutes, there was no response, so i moved away, kinda dissapointed. after a few steps, i was poked behind and my name called out. i turned thinking it was my uncle, but when i turned, my heartstopped beating and there was the familar face and smile that robbed my heart. after all, i was noticed. i went speechless and well the person did all the talking. it was apleasant surprise as it was , lets name the peron x birthday on sunday, and i wished x in d morning through sms. it was totally unexpected. rest, well thats a preety complicated and different story, i went back home , dazed and confused. but nevertheless, i was extremely happy that x still still thinks of me me. life is unpredictable.
but that is not going to stop me from hohoing ma way to christmas! hoidays here i come!!!!!!
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
i saw a flower. wanted to pick it.n i did. now its mine .complete. i saw another 1 flower, different variety. wanted it as well. now im almost getting it.perfect. infact i have gotten it.nice. but what about the old one?
i want both, but thats not possible. i am ashamed of my self. i don't deserve both. d last flower doesn't seem to mind i already have one, but i do. how?
im torn between 2.....
Monday, 8 December 2008
first and foremost, a silent prayer to the recent landslide victims of bukit antarabangsa. RIP those who could not make it, and to those who made it, thank your lucky stars. its better to loose property than to loose your loved ones. nw to the juicy part.
bukit antarabangsa. a posh resedential area. an address that can be associated with the royalties ant the stars of the society. also synonymous with land slides and eartquakes. this is not the first time something of this magnitude occured there. over the last few years there has been many landslides and tremors detected in that area. the most notable one is the highland tower disaster. a statement made by someone in line to be the counties biggie, translated exactky from bm goes like this"" now we have no more excuses to allow for development in bukit antarabangsa"" uhh correct me if i'm wrong, does that mean they had excuses before to allow for development in bukit antarabangsa even after the htower tremor that shook the whole nation? oh wait, that time a datuks child did not get korban. thats the difference. thats the catastrophe. the real catastrophe of our nation.
Friday, 5 December 2008
its been 3 days since i slept. surviving with shots of panadol activ fast every morning. keeps me smiling like a scary clown all day. life is painfull. ....
just finished the first part of my sem end thesis presentation for uel reps. gosh, was nervous but i managed to pull through. tomorrow is the last part of the presentation and thesis submission and validation and publishing. wish christmas is here sooner. wish it will snow. wish i can a whole turkey to my self. but all dat wont happen. christmas will only come on 25. it wont snow on the equator. and i will explode if i ate more than a morsel. i feel like hitting some one. this degree thingy is making me depressed. most people seem to enjoy college life. they are like partiying 24/7. how is that possible?there is so much to do. i need a shave. and a haircut. how come college students can come like so well groomed anytime of the day? that takes time. and time is one thing i cant afford to loose. i need to see my shrink. at this rate, i will go bamboozel fast. things are getting more sunnier lately, thank god for that. just hopes this continues to blossom. probably i wont end being zombie after all.^^