A new chapters begins.

I'm dancing!!!!!
    >shouts a liberated soul<

BHARATHANATYAM

The wait was too long. the pain was too overbearing. the yearning was too much. I waited they will give me their approval, their blessing, only to be met with scalding words, and of course the usual yelling and cursing.
Recently, when my brother danced in his university, she was so proud telling to everyone and showing of the pictures. Worst she made me open up the page in the computer to show the pictures. God knows how i felt that time.

I'M DONE WITH ALL THAT.

I decided to dance bharathanatyam without my parents blessings or approval. Because i realized one thing. its not the dance they detest,  its just me learning it, and that would not change forever.

What has been a passion since 6, is now about become a reality.

I've told them, i'm doing it. She started yelling and told him. HE got and started to yell. I turned and looked, he just stopped halfway. I kept looking, he became dumbfounded.  he went away and sat, and looked at me like he seen a ghost. She came and looked cause he stopped yelling, and i looked at her. she just stood to the ground, frozen to the spot. She walked off with  sweat on her forehead.

I looked back at the screen of my laptop, where my webcam was on. I had the raasa raudra on my face. Guess they never saw that coming.

Roaring into Dragon Year

 

Or so to speak.

This is the first year I had the most quality time on a new year eve that I could ever asked for. I came back to an empty house tired around 11 ish after work only to find there is no food. and worst, none of my house dwellers answered my call.

After shower and two packets of curried instant noodles (bless those who created these little wraps of joy), I slumped into my couch, feeling a bit lethargic but nevertheless the urge to go out and party the night away, and suddenly like an epiphany, the quietness and stillness of the night swept away. At that moment dawned upon me that I was about to begin my journey into a whole new year alone. the itch to kick start the idiot box was surging but I calmed it down by listening to some good jazz and eventually things that I was blessed to experience last year, buzzed from memory. the people I met, the bonds I made, the fun I had, the pain I got all surged into my sight, each one vivid and crystal clear.

The question of did I deserve those things and will it continue creped up and till one my good friend called me, Hdaran ‘s little chat was enough to pump the dwindling spirit. I geared up for the finale, as the clock kept ticking, in my own little way. chocolate, some berries and nuts, frozen yogurt and steered my self into he new year with gastronomic orgasms of the sinful delight. (ok I'm a dark chocolate fan!)

Called my sir boi, and couldn't get through. then it stroked me , he will be church praying. A smile crept about me, and I waited gingerly for his call, while calling the others whom i keep close to my little heart. Then I got the call i was waiting for and I was floating in sweet heavens. Bless him.

And then it rained. as with any other significant moment in my life, it rained for a good 20 minutes till I was soaked and  tired form yelping and singing in the rain, playing about happily.

And with that I welcomed 2012 into my arms and embraced it.

(=

Happy New Year People.

Sunday dreams

 

Alex

the sound of the loud alarm ringing from one of the room permeates the whole shekar mansion with a notion that the day is about to begin and and get frantic. its Sunday, and that means the whole clan gets up to go to church and and later brunch together as a family. opening an eyelid and muttering foul under his breath, Alex stirs in his four corner post bed and blinks blankly at the ceiling. he scours around drinking in his surroundings. alexander asirvarthan shekar. that’s him. his family name itself is enough to get him comfortably around. he jet sets stylishly with his cousins, laughs while tinkling champagne flutes at parties around town, and changes shades when he spots just another paparazzi trying to get a shot at fame by having a shot of him.

only he knows how much he hates that.

getting up from the bed and dragging his feet to the washroom, he takes a long good look at him self before cleaning up. later after good hot shower, shaved and standing in just boxers in his wardrobe, he runs through his shirt rack for that shirt he bought 2 weeks ago. he hasn’t had the chance to wear it. call him retro but he loves things with quaint details. his room stands testament  for it. with a eclectic but elegant color palette, the shades of hot flushing pink, mysterious black and energetic sea blue paints an enigmatic picture all over his room. his artsy side can only be proudly displayed without snickering and silent laughing at his room, his abode, his retirement, his sanctuary. getting hold of the shirt form the rack , he takes out a matching plain double pleated slacks to go with the shirt, and a dirty gold tie.

dressed and set, he comes down to be greeted by his elder sister who is already munching away on sandwiches prepared by aunty radha. aunty radha is the cook cum nanny who came to the house appointed as his playmate/caretaker. as he grew up, she was later delegated to the kitchen as the second cook. when  the previous one has expired, she remains the sole woman who cooks in this house. with permanent crinkles around the eyes from her ever ready smile, dimples and wiry grey hair, she is the one where Alex is truly comfortable with when he comes home.

“ayya, have a seat, your coffee will be ready in a jiff”. ayya, the very word rings millions of bells in his heart. the word of comfort. the word of care. the word of knowing some is there. he gives her a peck in the cheek “ thanks nana”  and sits down. the way he treats aunty radha never went down well within this household. this apparent as the look on his sisters face is enough to curdle the milk. before she began to say something nasty, her phone rang “ oooo Patrick is calling…….” she rhymes up and snakes away. whose Patrick, Alex wonders. must be yet another guy she is flirting with. sigh, and he gave a distant look at his sister playing with her hair and giggling over the phone, with the occasional glance at him.

 

drafted the first 4 paragraphs. watcha think?

coincidence of consequences. auscultation

as the day approach to a near halt, ceasing activities to a dragging pace, i sit in my porch snugged with a mug of warm coffee enjoying the late evening breeze and enjoying the chirping of the birds on the bird, the scattering of the squirrels, and the calling of the mother hen to her chicks and the occasional cameo of the fruit bat. the sounds of nature, is at the full blast when the the day hits dusk, bursting a plethora of colours in the sky dotted with the swallows zooming through.
this perfect moment of innocence inspired me so much that i felt stimulated emotionally and a surge of uplifting creative energy numbed my veins. immediately i knew what i needed. i need to read. a good original piece of work. something heartfelt. 

i put down my mug, went in and brought my laptop out and after settling in, i directed my browser to my mates blogs and some writers sites and and 2 hours later felt contented, and satiated.
as i put my laptop aside with some classical carnatic music on, i realized that dusk is just passing and the activities i noted earlier is nowhere to be found. no hurried feet disappearing up the tree leaving a trace of bushy tail, no stern call of the feathered brood's matriarch, not even the blind bats faithful visit. life just passed on.
in my excitement, i failed to see what was happening in front of my eyes. to contain my self and take in the wonders that intrigued me. the promise of something more enriching made me left the things i have in hand and jump inot the next wave of emotion and be temporarily highlighted, in the end left to be dry and wanting more.
this is not something new to many of us. more often this happens in a relationship with someone close and dear, be it romantic, casual, blood tie or platonic. we fail to acknowledge, we fail to ascertain, we fail to appreciate.

the nuances of comforting presence is undoubtedly taken for granted by almost every one we know, as the most often complimented complaint would be one has changed, and in the eye of the preacher, the negativity of it almost could be smelled. and the pairing defence of the supposedly changed person hasn't in fact grown a hair.and thus this contradiction would dwell a jarring gap that ultimately would take away the level of closeness between them.
this not only applies to relationships but almost any aspect of being for a self. one attitude, ones passions, ones aspirations, anything.
all because we simply don't listen. take the time to listen to ourselves, correctly. listen to our inner voice, our surroundings. and when things get heated up, slow down and listen again, and think. and then u may catch the beauty of the passing colours in  the parade of the evening. the dusk and enjoy the fruits of ur patience int he most astounding starry night sky, with the bright moon shining alluringly above. listen. simple as that.