reunion!

yikes, its been ages since i last scribbled something in here^^. but then again, since my last emo outburst, d week has been great. went for my reunion of my form 5 class.  its been 3 years since i last saw them. we had a blast! almost 7 hours at mc'd! went on fries and refilled fizzies marathon that day, enough calories and sugar to last till middle of next year! lolz!!! the nutty gang cant believe it was me, cause i used to be well "healthy" nad now i am healthy minus the inverted coma, guess they were shocked that l lost so much weight. them we roamed aimlessly around the mall cmawhoring in every possible place, absorbing the atmosphere and basking in the spirit of christmas, with all the gay decorations and sounds of carols in the air we ruled, just like in the good old days.... XD

emo

pretencious. yup. thats me. pretending. faking it. all of it. i can't be myself. i tried too. then people started to mock me. to kill me. then i decided. to be phony. people flocked. like pigeons. around me. found some true friends in the flock. friends who cought me red handed. for not being myself. with them i was me again. i was reborn. but now, they are no more with me. they went where life took them. i'm all alone now. with no one to cry to. to share with. to be friends. is it a crime to be different from the others? is it a must to follow the leash of the society? whats wrong in not stereotyping? i'm not a clone. nor i will be. i hate it to the guts. i can't keep with this  any longer. but i have to. life doesn't give us much choice.i'm hurt. but i can't cry. tears are flodding my eyes. but i just close my eyes .so it wont flow down. once i was happy. met someone that i thought was my match in every aspect. we were together. life was a bliss. but then, things started to change. we seperated. now the past is back. explaination. did not get it when iasked for it. but now getting it without asking. don't want to hope. but i'm human too. my heart can't differentiate between true and false. scared will be hurt again. and hurt someone who gave me support all this while when i was crying. why me? don't ideserve to be happy? i'm no angel. but i'm no whore either. just a persons who got hurt multiple times by people i trusted. trust. thats a strong word. easy to break, hard to get. sigh..

sigh....

two flowers. one slashed. one kept. guess which one got slashed???????

hope

a smile from heaven? perhaps. 

 was lucky with this shot ^^

tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la la, tra la la la

yahoo!!!! after 2 months of sleepless nights, and a daily dose of panadol activ, my first sem has finally came 2 an end! like gosh, sun, you did it! with big bad bush gatting the sandal salute and me bumping into certain someone ^^, yesterday and today was a beffiting farewell to me sem. went to the PC fair in klcc, and bought sum stuff. d usualls, pendrives, which are sold oh so cheaply, and hooray, finally got ma self a webcam, after a lot of hesitation. its' 5 megapixels, and it is like so cute, looks like wall-e jutting out from ma pc! and this can only meaning one thing, camwhoring, lolz!! hehehehe, maybe i should start like a series of photos or someting, muahahahahahaha.

at the fair, i bumped into somone which i thought will nebver ever see again in my life. actually, i saw him first. was waiting for my uncle as we got seperated due to lots of shoving and pushing, and suddenly my heart started to beat very fast. i dont know why, till i glimpsed a familar shadow. could it be i thought? and i told my sister to wait and trailed after that person, and yes it is! went near and statr to like ummm looking at somwhere else, hoping my presence will be noticed, but after a few minutes, there was no response, so i moved away, kinda dissapointed. after a few steps, i was poked behind and my name called out. i turned thinking it was my uncle, but when i turned, my heartstopped beating and there was the familar face and smile that robbed my heart. after all, i was noticed. i went speechless and well the person did all the talking. it was apleasant surprise as it was , lets name the peron x birthday on sunday, and i wished x in d morning through sms. it was totally unexpected. rest, well thats a preety complicated and  different story, i went back home , dazed and confused. but nevertheless, i was extremely happy that x still still thinks of me me. life is unpredictable.

but that is not going to stop me from hohoing ma way to christmas! hoidays here i come!!!!!!

what i have gotten myself into???

i saw a flower. wanted to pick it.n i did. now its mine .complete. i saw another 1 flower, different variety. wanted it as well. now im almost getting it.perfect. infact i have gotten it.nice. but what about the old one?

i want both, but thats not possible. i am ashamed of my self. i don't deserve both. d last flower doesn't seem to mind i already have one, but i do. how?

im torn between 2.....

catastrophe

first and foremost, a silent prayer to the recent landslide victims of bukit antarabangsa. RIP those who could not make it, and to those who made it, thank your lucky stars. its better to loose property than to loose your loved ones. nw to the juicy part.

bukit antarabangsa. a posh resedential area. an address that can be associated with the royalties ant the stars of the society. also synonymous with land slides and eartquakes. this is not the first time something of this magnitude occured there. over the last few years there has been many landslides and tremors detected in that area. the most notable one is the highland tower disaster. a statement made by someone in line to be the counties biggie, translated exactky from bm goes like this"" now we have no more excuses to allow for development in bukit antarabangsa"" uhh correct me if i'm wrong, does that mean they had excuses before to allow for development in bukit antarabangsa even after the htower tremor that shook the whole nation? oh wait, that time a datuks child did not get korban. thats the difference. thats the catastrophe. the real catastrophe of our nation. 

zombie mode

its been 3 days since i slept. surviving with shots of panadol activ fast every morning. keeps me smiling like a scary clown all day. life  is painfull. ....

just finished the first part of my sem end thesis presentation for uel reps. gosh, was nervous but i managed to pull through. tomorrow is the last part of the presentation and thesis submission and validation and publishing. wish christmas is here sooner. wish it will snow. wish i can a whole turkey to my self. but all dat wont happen. christmas will only come on 25. it wont snow on the equator. and i will explode if i ate more than a morsel. i feel like hitting some one. this degree thingy is making me depressed. most people seem to enjoy college life. they are like partiying 24/7. how is that possible?there is so much to do. i need a shave. and a haircut.  how come college students can come like so well groomed anytime of the day? that takes time. and time is one thing i cant afford to loose. i need to see my shrink. at this rate, i will go bamboozel fast.  things are getting more sunnier lately, thank god for that. just hopes this continues to blossom. probably i wont end being zombie after all.^^

smile

i smilled at the night sky and it smiled at me back! like for real! yesterday! seroiusly!

expired

wo, when was the last time i posted something? like last month? gosh it has been a long time since i let my self loose for a while. seems like ages. must been all the technical stuff i let my self into. okie. now that i am back, let me tell you all something that i witnessed last Thursday.   when i was about to  cabut home after a long period of web designing class where i lost it as usual, there was this brawl happening outside my class. as the scenes unfolded, it reminded me of the like  oh-so-typical Tamil movies(that's another story, may be after this). this two guys who i presume to be best friends because they are like twins before this, were neck to neck to each other. now i would just passed it off as another one these silly Indian guys attitude(still not judging, trust me you don't want to hear me start judging) and walked off, but something stopped me in my track. not that i usually do this, but my ears caught something. apparently one of the guys name is same as mine, err lets say x. and the other guy whose name i did not bother to listen said something about x's name. that's how the fight started. which brings me to think, what’s in a name, or more precisely naming or name calling? does it do any thing to you if someone said or called you so and so, or does it brings you any loss? words can't be retracted and yes it does hurt, but only if its true, right? everyone has their own name, their identity, and yes it comes with ego and self grace, but just because someone said that your name sounds like something or called you  something, most likely it isn't going to happen the next very second and you are going to be doomed for ever. so what’s the problem? move on. i do. but then again, people say i don't have any feelings and because I'm a sarcastic person , or I'm thick skinned., just i don't feel it. i don't let it to seep into me. simple (well yah, my skin is thick, anatomically!) Malaysians, especially my beloved brethren of my community, get all worked up as soon as something is said. the reason, like my grandma says, we eat more salt!!! yup, that’s the way granny, blame the salt. having high blood pressure due to over consumption of salt, and having a major showdown has nothing in common. at least from the way is see things. if they are so concerned about the way people address them, why no one gets all frisky and jumpy when the call each other  mike, or joe or machan and all the other names the call each other? your name isn't mike or joe and certainly you did not marry his sister, so why you answer back?  that part is still a mystery to me.  it is only is true if you acknowledge it, if  you don't well the sun wont get burned if the dog keeps on barking at it. that’s it. end of story. just shrug it off, why waste your time and energy on justifying it?  but then again, that’s me, name calling is so tadika. want a better way to have a shot at people? get a life and start moving on. trust me. it hurts ^^happy holidays

Washed Out

for the past few days i have been sleeping between 3 to 4 am in the morning. have 2 finish my work. and it seems the more i do, the more there is to be done. 3 reports 1 website and an apllication. 2 reports is on the track, the website is patching up....slowly

the other 2, huhuhuhu god knows when im goona start. had ma last test 2 de for a subject which dont have a final exam.  sigh! one down, 2 more to go. hope can ace it.

lately all my new classmates have been very friendly towards me. i dont talk much to any one in my college. just dont seem to fit in. there is the one person though, who reminds me one of my close friend, raj. and suprise suprise, the other day i had a lunch date with raj and she becoimg girlish.... good improvement. her hair is a bit longer and she wears bling blings. but her character still the same. the minute she saw me, there goes all her petiteness down the drain. she started with her cheekiness. 

we talked about aot of stuff. about sam. life. break ups. and of course the dangling thingy

thats all for now

taged by a gud fwen. hui chian

and am not gonna tag n e 1. for starters. dat is.

1. what is your name?
sun

2 .how old are you?
sexy 20

3. what are the 3 electronics that you can't live without?
my handphone, my pc, and my fridge 8D

4. are you amazing?
ask my frens =P

5. what is the brand of handphone you are using?
sony ericsson g700i = cool stuff

6. what is the color of your phone?
rusty chrome

7. have you slept in school before?
for camp? yes. in class? hell no!

8. how long are you online in a day?
now = 24/7 before = depends

9. how would you describe your self?
read it up in about me....

10. whats your favourite topic to talk about?
trust me... somethings are better left in the dark

11. which teacher do you like?
d hot mama = pn. rosas(she sucks at teaching, but other then that sporting habis!!!! v would gossip and laugh like no ones business!! lolz 8D) + she is on a mission to expand the population of malaysia...hehehehehehe

12. who do you think is the most handsomest in your class?
most handsomest? who thought these people english? lolz ^^

13. who are you currently aiming on?
im not in the firing squad....sowie(lov 2....got a hit list in my mind lolz)

14. do you know alot of your siblings secret?
yup...hehehehe i'm a mean guy....blackmailing rulez!

15. how do you rate your siblings?
way below dwn der...........pesky brother 1/10
sisbro unite!............... cool sister 10/10

16. are your siblings gorgeous?
sis = :)
bro = eww

17. do you judge people?
read about me :-)

18. do you run?
used to in high skool. now, nah.

19. are you lazy to tag people?
depends.

20. who was the last person you spoke on the phone?
hehehehehe.... ;-)

21. what is 2 + 2?
go to tution if u cant find out!

22. who is your idol?
lots of them. the significant one is dato' dr thambirajah. he is a good man. GBH

23. are you a monster?
at times. when the need for it arise.

24. do you play with barbie dolls?
okie, who your daddy?? you wanna a piece of me???

25. what was the last movie you watched?
mamma mia! muax!

26. what do you think of your english?
i speak the queens language my dears. its polished. 8D

27. what do you think about your bahasa malaysia?
boleh tahan

28. who do you hate?
thats why they called them secrets.

29. do you love yourself?
hell yeah!!

30. blurt out five random words.
opps i did it again! lolz

yoga blues..

the verdict is out. the tribe has voted. yoga is officially mooted out. labeling it as haram just shows another clear example of the perspective of our fellow brothers. pointing fingers to other countries does not really justify anything. egypt , i can understand. but singapore? ok. something is definately not right here. by bending and stretching the body, one can change ones faith just does not sound preety clever to me. if their belief is so fragile, these people should not only not practise yoga, but also should be prohibbited from from interacial interaction at all. want a suggestion? be a hermit. it does not matter what you do, but if you know what you belive in, then it should be any problem in exercising., rite? or so you think. and then suddenly out comes the moral squad to police and sppon you on whats right and not. this is not only an insult to the ancient art, but its also a breaching of , well plain old human rights. associating something that is purely focused on healing to deviation is not realy helping at all. there is more pressing matters to attend and all they could do is well ban yoga. for muslims.

AND then there is an IF. yup an if. if it comes with the 3 elements which are chanting, worshipping and meditation, then its haram. since when people chant when they do yoga? or am i so outdated that i missed this new trend in yoga? what are they thinking? excorsism? worshipping. hmmmmm. i dont see any idol or object that is bowed at or danced around in yoga. oh wait. maybe the council members confused it with the rain dance of the tribes in africa. maybe they thought its yoga as well. forgiven. meditation. its the act of clearing thoughts and focusing on god. yup god. your god. any god. no one is forcing anyone to focus on a specific god. just focus on your god in your language. whats wrong in that?

well i guess being a malysian has its perks and poluutions. sometimes its about the roti canai in space. sometimes its about the name of the streets. other times its wishing seaosonal greetings to our fellow bretherens. most of the times, well most of the times it just shows how far we have come and how far we still have to go to be a trully liberated, united and matured nation. whats next on the list, taichi? qigong? god knows.

Anouncing

its darshana raj. dont now the spelling but thats the name. raj is supposed to be the family name. whoose family? still remains a mystery to me. it bears an uncanny resemblane to another cousin brothers child name. darsha raj. coincidence? i doubt it. their wives are cousins to. so this makes them like in the same family. cousins married the cousins. ahh, now i get it. its the family
THE RAJ FAMILY. then what does that make us?

stunts? publicity attempt? LAME. show your defiant anger some where. not on the child

but then again, this is not about ma cousins. its about the new addition to a colorfull family. welcome to our life girl.

Today, the new pc is fully set up and up and running. Got to test drive it yesterday nite. Slept at 3, was downloading the updates for the anti virus. For now, its running on the trial version. The original will arrive in 2 to 3 days. There is a slight problem though, its not working like its supposed to be! Because of that, my website designing have to wait for a few more days till i can insert my pendrive and run the applications. so for now, well lets say its just for display...hehehehe
Still adjusting to the enormous screen, now I'm certainly viewing the web from different angle.

ps: Really hoping for things to just fall in place...can't afford to go haywire now :(

me new toy...sweet

i got a new pc, i got a new pc, i got new pc, i got a new pc. its mine its mine its mine. <3 <3 <3 <3

website woes... continued

Im not a whiner. Nor i like to complain. I belive everything happens for a reason. But sometimes i wish i know the reason. Sometimes i wonder why this sort of things happens to me. First the happy news. 2 of the websites that i asked permission for gave me their permission to use their material since its for my asignment. Now the bad news. Suddenly out of the blue, the retracted it. Why you ask, their answer was very professional. "Due to some unforseen circumstances, there is a revamping of image of our institution. Hence we are very sorry to inform you that the permision is void from the time and and date this notification is sent. Thank you" What can i say? Maybe its karma.

ps: ma pc is still not replaced. cc is ma new home. huhuhuhuhu

more stuff on my niece

Yup, Im a proud uncle to my cousin brothers firstborn. A baby girl.

website woes

OK. Here's the deal. I have to create a website.On something with a personal ....lets say intention to it. And since catching KL Navarathiri Dance Festival Central Market somewhere before deepavalli, i become fixated with this childhood dreams of mine.

Classical indian performing arts. So with that excitement, i have decided to do a website that will, be like a common arena for all the art houses in Malaysia. Noble thought, or so i thought. I have e-mailed for permission to 3 prominent art houses in malaysia that is noted for their credibilty to use their material and to meet up if possible to gather more info for the website. So far have not gotten any response from any of them. I dont know whether it is a" keep your claws out of our stuffs " in other words sorry no thank you or they haven't read my email. At least, if you want to reject someone, have the the guts to say so. And the courtesy. So thats part one of my woes. The second is, since i majored in Biology in My STPM( which i did very well!!), and for some reasons that i sure hope God knows, ending up doing Software Engineering, with no background knowledge on it except the basic typing ,searching and the usualls, the process of creating a web to me is like ballet to a hippo. Yup, clueless. Add to that a not so helpfull lecturer(she is kind and good, god bless her, but her teaching....wait, lecturing method is the one that i'm not in favour with) you will get me. There is no one to refer for help, absolutely no one. So right now, im preety screwed up.

All i can wish for is some kind soul out there will somehow appear and help me out, or i'm going to loose my my scholarship.

Any one feeling kind hearted today?

Delivered

On 4th of November, 3.54 am, a bundle of joy took her first breath into this world. God bless her.